The scene opens in the quiet light of morning. A young married couple stirs in bed. The wife sits up, stretches, and walks across the room to turn on her computer. A message flashes on the screen:
“I’d like to take you on a date tonight.”
She smiles.
She glances back at her husband, still lying in bed, who smiles at her with that quiet, knowing love.
Then, in walks Andra Day, singing the anthem that has become a battle cry for so many women:
“And I’ll rise up…”
The first time I heard that song, I cried.
Not just because it’s beautiful, but because it was me.
Because it is me.
It’s my testimony.
That song is about resilience. About rising up when you don’t think you can take another step. About digging deep into the strength you didn’t even know you had. That’s the kind of strength it takes to keep a relationship going, through life’s ups and downs.
It’s rare these days to see that kind of commitment. But it’s exactly what “for better or for worse” was meant to be.
Let’s Talk About the Real Reason Relationships Break Down
Now, I know what you might be thinking.
“Some of us women have to do it alone. We have to be both the man and the woman, because the men just don’t step up.”
Let’s unpack that.
Relationships are about choice.
We choose who we love. Who we open our hearts to. Who we fight for.
But too often, we forget a crucial truth:
If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you’ll misuse it.
We were created to walk this life together — to build, to support each other’s dreams, to raise families, and fulfill the purpose God placed on our lives.
But we’ve started redefining love on our own terms — and then wondering why it’s not working.
We Get What We Settle For
Here’s the hard truth:
We advertise what we say is not for sale, and get mad when someone tries to buy it.
We give dollar-store effort and expect Gucci-level returns.
We set the standard for how we allow people to treat us.
Maya Angelou said it best:
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
There are good men out here.
There are strong, faithful, emotionally available men who want to build something real.
But we’ve got to stop playing games. We have to stop settling for crumbs and calling it a meal.
Say It With Me…
Say this out loud — and mean it:
I’m not a placeholder.
I’m not the “after 10 PM” “WYD text?”
I’m not your Netflix and chill.
I’m not your next baby momma.
I’m not your part-time or secret lover.
If he’s not valuing you, maybe it’s because of the value you placed on yourself.
So, Who’s Fooling Who?
Are the men fooling us?
Or are we fooling ourselves?
At some point, someone has to raise the standard.
Why not you?
Why not me?
Let’s stop waiting for love to look like a movie, and start building relationships that are real, rooted, and whole. Let’s commit to doing the work — to knowing our worth and standing by it.
Because the truth is: You don’t have to settle. You just have to rise.
What are your thoughts?
Have you experienced this kind of shift in your relationships? What helped you reclaim your worth?
Let’s talk about it in the comments 👇
