The Miseducation of What We Want vs. What We Need
Inspired by Lauryn Hill’s “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
In 1998, Ms. Lauryn Hill dropped a timeless album: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. Among its most iconic tracks was Doo Wop (That Thing) — a sharp, soulful reminder to both men and women not to get caught up chasing “that thing.” You know the one. The desire is so strong, it convinces you that life just wouldn’t be complete without it.
That song planted the seed for this post, because the truth is:
We all have (or had) that thing.
What Was That Thing for You?
Maybe it was a job you were sure would change everything.
A relationship you thought would finally make you feel whole.
A dream of parenthood that, once realized, brought more stress than serenity.
A house, a car, a degree, or even a title that once felt like the ultimate goal.
We often chase after these things, believing they’re the key to fulfillment. But then, reality sets in — and we discover it wasn’t what we thought. What once felt like a blessing can begin to feel like a burden.
The Miseducation of Our Desires
Let’s be honest: Many of us were never taught how to discern between a want and a need. Our desires have often been shaped by culture, comparison, insecurity, or even survival. We were never shown how to pause and ask, “Where is this desire coming from?”
Sometimes, what we thought was destiny was actually a detour.
What we assumed was a calling was just noise.
What looked like love turned into a lesson.
This isn’t about regret. It’s about clarity.
When the Dream Turns Into a Struggle
There’s no shame in acknowledging that some things we once desperately wanted, once we got them, felt more draining than fulfilling.
- That career path may have come with burnout.
- That pet may have added to your stress.
- That relationship might’ve revealed more about your wounds than your worth.
- That child (yes, even that beautiful child) may have made you realize how unprepared you felt.
It’s hard to say these things out loud. Especially in a culture that glamorizes hustle, parenthood, relationships, and “having it all.” But if we’re being honest, sometimes we chase what we were never meant to carry — or we carried it before we were ready.
What’s the Source of Your Desire?
Where do our deepest desires come from?
Are they rooted in our purpose — or are they echoes of what others told us we should want?
It’s time to ask:
Was I miseducated on what I really need?
Here’s the good news:
God is not against our desires. In fact, some of those longings were planted by Him. But He also provides the blueprint. When we pursue “that thing” without Him, we often encounter unnecessary pain, delays, or confusion.
A Better Way Forward
Scripture gives us a better starting point:
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
— Matthew 6:33
And:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
God’s not trying to withhold joy from us.
He’s trying to align us with purpose — the kind that brings lasting joy, peace, and meaning.
When we seek Him first, “that thing” doesn’t become our identity or our idol. It becomes a part of our purpose. And we begin to experience the kind of fulfillment that can’t be shaken.
A Question for Reflection
So I leave you with this:
What is the thing you thought you needed — and did it truly satisfy your soul?
And a better question:
What if the thing you’re looking for is found in the One who created you?
Your life is not missing anything when it is aligned with the One who designed it. Seek Him first, and all these “things” will be added in His perfect way and perfect time.
