The year 2020 shifted many things for us as a people. Behaviors, beliefs, and mindsets that once lay dormant came to life. Some of the worst parts of who we are were put on display for the world to see. While the world was experiencing a global pandemic, it seemed that here at home, we were dealing with outbreaks of epidemics of various kinds.
One epidemic, in particular, stood out to me—a shift in our collective state of mind.
Mental health is not a new concept. In fact, the National Mental Health Act established the NIMH back in 1949. But in 2020, it seemed as though the term “mental health” took on new meaning. The world began to understand its weight. Telehealth services expanded, providing access to people who had long suffered in silence and were unable to find the words or resources to seek help. This was a victory for many.
However, as with all good things, there was a downside. Some took advantage of the system. Yet in the midst of it all, something else emerged—something tender, something small, yet profoundly important. A pocket of concern among people struggling with deep emotional wounds. For many of them, the root of their pain could be traced back to one simple thing: the absence of an apology.
Not just any apology, but an acknowledgment. A moment of truth from a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or caregiver. A recognition of harm caused, whether by words spoken in anger, neglect, or misguided intentions. While these wounds may be complex and layered, what if an apology could be the key? The first step toward healing?
Parenting is an ever-evolving role. The circumstances and environments we parent in vary, shaping the journey uniquely for each of us. But one truth remains universal: we will make mistakes.
No matter how many parenting books we read or how well-intentioned we are, we will fall short. And in those missteps, we may leave behind scars—scars that shift identities, derail confidence, or become stumbling blocks to growth.
So, what is the cost of an apology?
What difference could saying “I’m sorry” really make?
To some, that apology is everything. To others, it’s an open door.
To the mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who feel that apologizing may weaken your authority or diminish the sacrifices you’ve made, I offer this thought:
What if both things are true?
What if you gave everything you had to raise your children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews? What if you sacrificed, poured yourself out, and did the very best you could with what you had? And what if, despite all of that, harm was still done?
Unintentionally. Unknowingly. But still—real.
Can you offer just a little more?
Not money. Not things. But something deeper. A simple, powerful truth: “I see you. I hear you. And I’m sorry.”
What if that is the open door—the one that leads your loved one toward healing?
And if it is… are we willing to give it to them?
